look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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