Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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