he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
