I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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