So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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