my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
