Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
