time to smoke my breakfast
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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