I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
