FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
