Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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