Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
