Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
