I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
