You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize