dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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