Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm always down for nudity.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
