He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
