I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize