wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
