so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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