I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
