bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
