Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
