dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
