you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
