that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
