So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
