There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
