I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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