saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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