She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
