I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
