There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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