I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
