hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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