Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize