Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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