I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
