I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
