i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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