i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize