Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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