Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
