On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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