The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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