wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
