We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
