I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
