she smelled like a LAN party
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
