i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
