Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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