You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
