I like my sex mixed with concussions.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
