dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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