FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How naked do you want me to be?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
