Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
