My friends, they love my intelligence
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize