Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
