My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
