You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we're making bets on your personal life
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
