it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
