And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
