I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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